My Dearest Sonny Mooore,
It has been close to 4 days since that magical night at Wrongbar, where you rammed your musical fist up Toronto’s ass, and I am still in a state of recovery. Since the beginning of the summer up until now, I have been to Bonnaroo, Electric Zoo and close to 30 DJ sets and can honestly say that never have I witnessed a such a high level of sheer rhapsody spew from both performer and crowd during a performance. If all the sweat from every person at Wrongbar was collected and purified, we could have solved the water crisis in the Middle East.
But I digress…as those unlucky few who are reading this that didn’t attend the concert, deserve to know in full detail what they missed.
Upon immidiate entry to the club, it was easy to assume that this was going to be a fantastical evening. After receiving a complimentary vodka soda, I made my way over to the couches on the side of the pit, where I was able to get a great view of the Killabits throwing down. Skrillex was not even in the building yet, and already the crowd was rowdy as fuck and partially drenched (due in large part to the minimal amounts of free oxygen that are available at Wrongbar). It was here that I sustained the first of many injuries on the night, when I merked my hand on one of those fire sprinkler things on the ceilings and began bleeding profusely, but who gives a fuck right? The Killabits whipped the crowd into a frenzy for the entirety of their hour long bangfest, which is all the more impressive as they weren’t able to play any of the Skrillex songs they usually sprinkle on their sets, as to not offend the man of the evening.
Towards the end of the Killabits set I was lucky enough to sit down briefly with Omar Linx, the extremely talenented up-and-coming rapper from Toronto, who is featured on Zeds Dead’s track “Out For Blood” as well as on a bunch of tracks on their upcoming album. He is a very humble guy and I am very much looking forward to sitting down for a full interview with him later this week. I also had the honor of saying a quick hello to Zack; one half of Zeds dead who didn’t really care to acknowledge me, which isn’t a big deal as im sure he had already faced a gaggle of drunken retards telling him how amazing he is prior to having met me.
As Zeds Dead took to the booth, you could see every nipple of every person in the crowd slowly becoming erect in anticipation. Zack and Dylan have been performing a set close to every week for the past couple of months and have built an esteemed reputation for themselves within the Toronto Dubstep community. Prior to this I had seen them spin as a headliner at Jim Bob’s in London, and as an opener for Crookers in Toronto, both of which performances were boner throbbing ragefests. Unfortunately the duo were faced with some technical difficulties during this set at Wrongbar, which heavily hindered the power of their performance, but again, this has nothing to do with the talent of this dynamic duo. All in all they managed to pull off a decent enough set and played their part as a stepping stone for the main event of the evening.
By the time Zeds Dead was finished, I had already snaked my way onto the right hand side of the stage, next to the DJ booth. As the chants for Skrillex began to flood the building and the demon of destruction began setting up his equipment, the only thing separating me from Sonny was the burley outstretched arm of a bouncer that smelled like rotten cabbage. I remained in my cabbage related prison for the first couple of songs that Skrillex began his set with, but in the end my drunken ingenuity was too powerful for such a feeble minded and smelly bouncer. I was able to crawl under a table that separated the stage and enter the the more prestige, promotor filled section that was situated right behind Sonny himself. From here I found my buddy Jeff who had been stealthfully lurking in the back the of the VIP side all along. We dutched the pinner that had been concealed in my pocket, and proceeded to bring some unadulterated energy to an area where most were “too civilized” to rage (tip: by wrapping ur j’s in tinfoil before putting them in your pocket, they remain crisp and dry no matter how sweaty you get).
Since the stage was uber small, I was easily able to work my way through the photographers and settle next to everybody’s favorite Nate Black, who had the privilege of being situated directly behind Skrillex himself. Thanks to Nate, I was able to gain a proximity to Sonny that I will never experience again for the rest of my life. Upon realizing this, I took it upon myself to make sure my presence was known. I almost immediately lit up a cigarette and being well aware of Sonny’s ravaging addiction, tapped him on the shoulder mid-set to offer it to him. After three or four pokes Sonny turned around and stared me directly in the face, with a very energetically confused look. “Whats wrong?!” he exclaimed with immediate concern, “Is everything ok?.” “Of course!” I responded, “Your the king Sonny and your killing it!, I just wanted to know if you wanted this!” I held up the cigarette and watched as his face lit up like the 4th of July. “Holy fuck do I ever!,” he exclaimed, and took a much needed first drag. It was one of the single greatest moments in my life, and gave me a first hand experience to the incredible humbleness of Sonny Moore. If this wasn’t enough, I was able to relive the encounter when I handed him a second cigarette after he hopped back in the booth following his ridiculous crowd surfing sesh.
After dropping 3 Ludacris tracks out of nowhere, he left the crowd in a frenzy when he dropped his remix of La Roux’s “In For The Kill” as his finishing track. As Moses did to the waters of the Red Sea, Skrillex parted the crowd down the middle to make room and build up energy for the imminent drop. The crowd promptly separated and anxiously awaited until the final decible before the drop to release their pent up rage. The beat dropped, and like the chasing Egyptian army of old, the crowd was drowned in chaos.
After grabbing my bag and making my way outside to join my friends, Skrillex graced our prescence for the final time as he was being escorted to a cab. Against the order of his 5 secutiry guards, Skrillex promptly made a B line for all his adoring fans in the smokers pit, shaking hands and answering any and every drunken statement and question thrown his way with a big smile. He thanked me for the cigarettes I had given him as I shook his hand for the final time, and promised everyone that he would be returning to Toronto as soon as he possibly could.
As I stated before, I have been to many MANY DJ sets over the past year, and none will have the longstanding life effects that this night at Wrongbar inflicted upon me.